Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
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