im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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