I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
