What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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