his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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