And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
