it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
