omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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