I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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