Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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