I wannas sexs uuuuu
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
