THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
