someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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