oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if only i could text you this smell
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
