the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
