Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
