Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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