Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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