Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
