The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
