only you would photoshop your dick
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
