bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
