My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Pooping to opera.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
