No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
