I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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