i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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