LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
