mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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