At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
