Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
