Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
