Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
