her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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