the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I will be naked everywhere
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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