watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
it hurts more in the daytime
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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