i think i have herpe
just one?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
