It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
