2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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