We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
