I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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