Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
