turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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