why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
