that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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