I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize