Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
