The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
