Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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