Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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