I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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