dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
