i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
