If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize