I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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