If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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