allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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