You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
