Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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