Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
