It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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