im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
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I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol