pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.