wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
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Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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