he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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