I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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