I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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