Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
