This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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