Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
